When someone agrees to come on Monday, you should not have to spend Tuesday trying to find them.
You may have taken time off work. You may have borrowed the money for the job. By Tuesday afternoon, the repair is still waiting, and you are wondering whether to call somebody else. An explanation would help. Instead, the telephone rings unanswered.
It is an ordinary frustration, but it tells us something about how we treat each other. One person makes a promise. Another person arranges part of their life around it. When the promise is forgotten, the inconvenience falls on the person who believed it.
I think we could improve a good deal of life in St. Vincent and the Grenadines by taking that relationship more seriously.
We speak about wanting a better country. Usually, the conversation soon reaches money, jobs or buildings. Those concerns deserve attention. Yet much of our day is shaped by smaller encounters: whether somebody answers a question, finishes work they have accepted or tells us in time that an arrangement has changed.
A country becomes easier to live in when these things work. People can plan. They waste fewer journeys. A working parent can arrange an appointment without wondering whether the trip will come to anything. A small business can accept an order with some confidence that its supplier will deliver.
Keeping our word begins with being honest about what we can do. The desire to please can get us into trouble. We agree to help because the person is standing in front of us and saying no feels unkind. Later, when we have to find the time or the money, we avoid the conversation.
There is kindness in an honest answer, even when it disappoints. A person who knows that we cannot help is free to try elsewhere. Someone waiting on a promise may let other opportunities pass.
This applies to the help we offer young people. An adult can speak warmly about wanting to guide a teenager, then discover that meeting regularly takes more time than expected. The teenager notices the missed appointments. They may say little, but they are learning how much weight to give the next promise.
We should be careful with that trust. If we can help with an application, help with the application. If we can teach a skill for two hours on a Saturday, agree on the Saturday. A modest undertaking, completed, gives a young person something they can use.
They also learn from the way adults handle mistakes. An apology, followed by an effort to put things right, teaches responsibility. Pretending nothing happened teaches them to protect their pride at someone else’s expense.
For those of us who believe in God, there is a familiar duty here. We ask for wisdom. Receiving it may require us to listen when someone says that our conduct has hurt them. It may require us to accept that a person with less education or standing has understood a situation better than we have.
That can be uncomfortable. Most people find it easier to explain their intentions than to examine their behaviour. But good intentions offer little comfort to someone who has carried the cost of what we did.
The same honesty is needed when we favour people we know. In SVG, relationships reach into almost every part of life. A customer may be a relative. Someone seeking an opportunity may have helped us years ago. We feel an obligation, and often with good reason.
Before making an exception, though, we need to consider who will have to wait. The customer whose work is pushed back may also be struggling. The applicant without a personal connection may need the opportunity just as badly. We cannot see everyone’s circumstances from our own circle.
Treating people fairly sometimes means explaining to a friend why we cannot give them what they want. That conversation can strain a relationship. Avoiding it can leave someone else paying for a favour they knew nothing about.
Care for the country also includes the things we use together. A community centre, a playing field or a school can fall into poor condition while everybody assumes somebody else will attend to it. By the time the damage is obvious, the repair may be beyond what the group can afford.
Money is often a real obstacle. Where the money is available, somebody still has to arrange the work and check that it has been done. An agreement reached at a meeting needs a person who will carry it through after everyone goes home.
We should value the people who do that work, and share it more fairly. The person who usually organises an activity may also be caring for a parent, earning a living and raising children. Willingness should not become a reason to leave everything with them.
Taking on one task can help, provided we finish it. The organiser should not have to spend the week reminding us about the job we volunteered to do.
These habits have consequences across our islands. They affect whether a business keeps its customers, whether a community group can continue and whether a young person feels able to trust an adult. Much of that is within our reach, even when larger decisions are beyond us.
We will still disappoint each other. Illness interrupts plans. Money runs short. Work takes longer than expected. People can often understand a difficulty once they know what has happened.
If Monday is no longer possible, make the call. Explain the delay and give a date you can honour. The person waiting has a day to get on with, too.
